Stop the rain from falling keep my oceans calm this time I know nothings wrong.
Thursday, Jan. 27, 2005, 00:39

i have to make this entry quick cuz i have to decipher some uber difficult pattern instructions because there is a gray snake skin suit-coat and vest with bright red lining and googly eye buttons waiting to be made and having to be made by the twelfth.

somehow levon convinced me to make him a suit for snowball (the valentines dance at our high school)

not much to really say.

the break off with nico is official.

but it was hard. he told me that he loves me. that he cant handle the feelings he feels for me. and he wants me so bad.

he also asked if i would have sex with him one more time.

so i did.

and i freaked out a little bit.

i buried my face in his (uber) hairy chest and the feeling was so calming... the way it always was... and i started thinking (durring sex... never a good sign) that maybe i did want to be with him because that feels so good.

and then after i realized that it was that feeling that felt good and not all of it.

it's good sex

and a good friendship

but not a good relationship...

dont ask me to explain because i myself just realize that those last three lines kind of contradict each other.

i think my kitten is actually a rabbit. she does that sitting up on her back feet thing to look around... and she burrows in blankets and... well...

maybe she's just insane

but i gotta sew

laters

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