funny hat
Monday, Apr. 11, 2005, 15:09

back in the day, when my bipolar disorder was really bad, i used to freak out and cry after sex.

that stopped when i moved to madison... in fact... i think adam was the last one it happened with.

last night it happened.

i think it stopped happening when sex stopped meaning something to me. and i think that maybe this sex means something to me.

i'm too afraid to ask matt what we are... partially because i know he will be honest with me and i'm afraid to hear it. and partially because i'm afraid of my fear... if that makes sense.

but last night he said 'my other girlfriend' in refrence to something. and his friend john from sheboygan knows who i am. i dont know what else he knows but... i'm important enough to tell high school friends about.

that alone freaks me out.

add to that all the other freaking out i've been doing and i'm a basket case... with a funny hat... all basket cases have to have funny hats...

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