an entry for matt... or... an entry with a section at the end for matt
Thursday, May. 12, 2005, 16:18

matt was going to go home last night to sleep. because he misses his bed. and because he had a big day at work today.

but apparently i am more important than his big day or his lonely bed so he stayed.

before he stayed... when he was still planning on going i was telling him that he could never leave. that he had to stay forever.

i told him if he left i would have to stay up all night to watch gilmore girls so i would forget how empty my bed was... the only bad thing about this plan would be i would be cranky at work cuz i have to close and i have to open the next day and it would be all his fault...

and then i started thinking about the last time i stayed up all night and watched gilmore girls. i added this entry after it all was over. after the last episode of the first season.

and throughout the whole night. the whole season. i was thinking about how unhappy i was with nico. and how happy i could actually be (girly shows do that to me)

but last night when i pondered having to stay up all night and watch them i knew i wouldnt care. i wouldnt freak out.

because i'm happy.

and having to wake up at eight thirty to make sure my boyfriend gets to work... kiss him goodbye... even though i have nine hours before i have to be at work. feels more natural than sleeping alone.

...

in other news... before i head off to work... he wants to know what i like sex-wise... and i really dont know... everything he does is perfect... and when i tell him something and he says 'you dont have to lie' that's all true too...

i know i make him feel good either way... so i wouldnt lie to him to make him feel better. cuz it wont make him feel better becuase it's a lie. but i dont lie

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