wishlist
Tuesday, May. 10, 2005, 13:20

my first thought was 'i cant do this again... i cant have another guy fall in love with me and have me mess up something that is good. something this good. i cant have this guy fall in love with me.

but he did.

and although i threatened him a few days ago that i would go crazy if he said it... even if he meant it... he still said it...

and meant it.

he almost had me beliveing that day a week ago that it wouldnt happen soon... 'somewhere down the road' he said... i figured it'd be a longer road than it was.

and even though i knew it was coming... i still freaked out.

not because of him

because of me... because of the way i reacted to it.

we talked until the birds were singing last night/this morning.

and this afternoon when we woke up...

he asked me what i wanted. if i wanted to settle down... have kids.

i said yes... and kids? i told him only two... two is too many anyway.

he agreed on the two number

we both are in a family of six (soon to be for me) and even though four of my younger brothers and sisters are add on's after i have grown up... i think we still both see six as a little crazy...

but it's better than that couple that i saw in the paper... 19 freaking kids.

i told him that i hope i get lucky and have twins on my first try so i only have to be pregnant once.

he laughed.

now i dont think any of this kid/settling down talk means anything serious right now. but i think it's probably a good idea for us to know what the other wants out of life...

he's older than me and doesnt want to fool around... experiment... and i dont think he wants me to waste his time if this isnt what i want...

and i'm younger than him... and have fooled around plenty... i'm ready for something stable. and i'm sick of 20 year olds... they're all just kids to me...

so we're in the same place...

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