plans
Sunday, Sept. 04, 2005, 12:38

the other day the ex-girlfriend sent him a text message. she had been told off by someone and wanted to know, from him, if she was really a terrible person.

this bothered me, but barely. it was a sudden surprise to have her in the present rather than in the past. but i wasnt worried about losing him, no way. i often ask him about his ex's, his almosts... i want to know about his past.

the next day she sent him another. and something about this one bothered me a lot.

he said to me "now you know how i felt when you wanted to hang out with jonsey" but it's not true.

i asked him if he loved her. and he replied that he thought he did, at the time. he loved her, i never loved jonsey. there is the difference.

he knew i was upset that night. i was pms-ing and upset that she had to prod her way back in on that particular week.

he thought i was upset because he may want her back. i was upset because he loved her. but now he doesnt.

he loves me now

what about in a year.

and he is the one i never want to lose.

stupid shit that doesnt matter. we're retarted for each other... there is no way i could lose him.

we spent the next morning hiding from the world under the bed sheet. talking and making plans.

plans we have made thus far for our future:

1. two kids (only if he wants another kid after the first... i only really want one) at least one has to be a boy, but if we have two girls, we're stopping. we are not becoming our parents

2. he's building me a library for my books and crazy crap that i keep on my bookshelves, and a toilet fountian for the pond in our yard (of the house we are going to buy)... the toilet fountian was something i thought no one would ever agree to, but he did.

3. our kids will not be spoiled...

4. the kitchen - brown black and red like the cat poster on the wall

5. our first baby has to be potty trained before we have the second

6. he wants to live on a lake

7. and have a jetski

8. i want a willow tree, but it's not that important

9. we wont call each other 'mom' and 'dad' unless we are talking to our kids

there are more stupid little things we have decided... lots of stupid things. we're perfect opposites, but we're sometimes the same... like the way our room gets messy...

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