you me and everything in between
Friday, Dec. 16, 2005, 18:26

i'm confused too.

i know with all of myself that it would have never worked. i know that i love matt. i know that i want to be with him and wake up with him and come home to him for the rest of my life.

and yet, i know that i have feelings for someone else... and that kills me. i'm jepordizing the best thing i've ever had over stupid unsure feelings for someone i never see, i rarely talk to, and i dont actually have an interest in.

why am i so stupid?? and why cant i explain this dementia to myself, much less him?

and now he doubts every part of what i say to him...

he says we're at a standstill
he says that if i'm not sure, he doesnt want to waste his time
he says that it's not a waste of time, it's what he has right now
he says that, while i say i'd never cheat, how does he know that i wouldn't lie to keep him
he says he believes that i would never cheat... that i would tell him if something came up that meant i wanted someone else
he says he loves me
and he says he's confused.

last - next